Is he pulling away or breaking up? 2 key tips

she is kissing him

Emotional neglect may seem like a silent and gentle
injury, but it will affect all the people in it. Is he pulling away or breaking up? 2 key tips

The neglected people often feel entangled at first. On
the one hand, the other party does not seem to have any specific behaviors that
can rise to the level of “no love”, so they seem to be angry or sad
because they are “actual” and intolerant. They will deny their
feelings, make
excuses for each other,
and tell themselves “They are really too busy,
so they have no time to take care of it”;

But on the other hand, they really felt the helplessness
and pain of being rejected and ignored, and then they performed the following
behaviors: What are the effects of being
emotionally ignored?
Is he pulling away or breaking up?

1. Forcing
yourself to be perfect in exchange for love

Many people who are neglected by their partners think
that their own problems and mistakes have caused the neglect, so they become
extremely cautious. When neglect occurs, they will first severely blame
themselves and try to please their partner. They think that as long as they
become better, more charming, and smarter, they can save their partner’s
attention and love: “If I can clean the room spotlessly, maybe he will
praise me when he comes back”, “If
I have a better figure
, Maybe you will be more willing to make friends
with me.”

However, they gradually discovered that no matter how
hard they tried, the neglect might not stop, the damage still continued, and
they still could not get the love of their partners, so this aggravated the
belief of some neglected: “I am not good enough”. They did not
realize that they were carrying guilt and shame for the mistakes that were not
their own.
Is he pulling away or breaking up?

2. Self-ignorance
gradually formed

When people are neglected by their partners, they also
begin to neglect themselves. Self-neglect people are good at caring for others,
but they are not able to care for themselves well. They
may easily forgive the
mistakes made by others and patiently listen to others’
distress; but when they encounter problems on their own, they will not comfort
and support themselves, but will conduct harsh self-criticism and feel for
their incompetence anger.

The reason why people who are ignored by their partners
neglect themselves is because people tend to put themselves in an
environment/pattern similar to the past. Especially in stressful situations,
people will instinctively retreat to familiar patterns, because habit implies
Is safe. For the neglected, “their own needs are not met” and
“there is no support” are familiar to them, so they choose to ignore
their own needs and pain.

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