American marriage expert Wenger Julie once said: “Even in the happiest
marriage, there will be 200 divorce thoughts and 50 strangulation thoughts in a
The friction in marriage makes people desperate, but what is even more
desperate is that there is friction between the two people, but there is no way
to eliminate it because of the distance. This is a long-distance relationship.
Long-distance relationship is actually a great test of a relationship. While
distance produces beauty, misunderstandings also follow. How many couples are
defeated by mutual suspicion and innocence. What are psychological effects of long distance relationships?
1. Long distance relationship: The sense of distance
has increased, and the sense of security has also decreased
Psychological research has shown that the depression and anxiety symptoms
of couples before they are separated are the strongest in the entire
long-distance relationship. According to Attachment Theory, our sense of
security mainly comes from contact with a few major social objects.
In infancy, the object of attachment may be your mother, but in
adulthood, this sense of security mainly comes from your lover. Relevant
studies have shown that we all instinctively resist and separate from our
adherents; because from the intimacy with them, we all subconsciously adjust
our psychological and physical state to the direction we want.
There is no real sense of physical contact between two people, nor the
intimacy of two people getting along in love. When longing and loneliness
strike, but we find that there is no one around us. When our emotions cannot be
transmitted and released, it is easy for people to feel insecure, and finally
escape by choosing to escape.
distance relationship: topics become less and less
The distance between the two people is getting farther and farther, they
gradually have their own new social circle, have a completely different way of
life, and there are fewer and fewer topics. From nothing to nothing to nothing
to say is the biggest reason for a long-distance relationship to break up, and
the sense of strangeness swept through. Sometimes, you will find it difficult
to understand the other person’s thoughts, and the other person also finds it
difficult to understand your language and thinking patterns.
distance relationship: can’t refuse the temptation around
Indeed, sometimes, beside the long distance lovers, there will be some
people who make each other’s heart move. This person, compared to his long-distance
lover, can touch, accompany himself, and do a lot of things with himself. This
feeling makes you feel at ease, and therefore you will easily give up the lover
in the distance, succumb to the warmth of reality, and be with the person
Long-term long distance relationship: daily communication
In addition to the daily sharing of daily life, frequent heart-to-heart,
is to tell the other party what you think, about this relationship, about the
other party, and bravely tell your true thoughts. Only heart-to-heart
communication produces soul mates.
Long-term long distance relationship: learn to enrich yourself
Sometimes the contradiction between two people is not a fundamental
problem, but a daydream caused by being too idle. A person’s life may be
boring, and there will be many lonely moments. But you must learn from
loneliness that love should not be the whole of life, love is always an
accessory to life, and the subject of life can only be yourself. Enrich your
life, you will see a better self and feelings.
Long-term long distance relationship: Two people can make a common study plan
You can read a book together and do the same thing at the same time, so
it’s as if two people make a plan together but act separately, shortening the
distance between two people; make a common fitness plan; look for the same
hobbies, play ball, Swimming, reading, looking for common topics, the distance
between the heart and the heart is closer, the distance in reality is not a
Long-term long distance relationship: learn to share
The two people in two places can’t understand what happened to you today
and what your current circle is like. So learn to share with each other, learn
to share the trivialities of their own lives. Allow the other party to better
understand your living environment and dynamics, and perceive your life, which
can also increase the other party’s sense of security.
Long-term long distance relationship: refusal to communicate with cold violence
The remote place will magnify those hurtful words infinitely. You should
learn to let the other party know your bottom line, such as not saying
“break up”, not being alone with other people of the opposite sex,
etc. Cold violence is most undesirable, and it is better to have a big fight in
comparison. But quarrels must also learn to control emotions rationally, and
don’t say things that hurt others, which may cause irreparable consequences.
Having said that, in fact, I hope that all long-distance relationships can be cultivated.