“apology”, it must be admitted that everyone will make mistakes, but in a romantic
relationship, if you do
something wrong, how do you apologize to your boyfriend?
1. Clarify the
reason for the apology
Many times, you actually know
that your boyfriend is angry with you, but you don’t know the specific reason.
At this time, you may create a “perfect and comprehensive” apology in
order to quickly end this contradiction, such as “Although I don’t know
why you are angry, I am sorry for what I have done.”
However, when you say this
sentence, you have missed a golden opportunity, a time to convey your
explanation of what you have done and gain the other’s understanding. At the
same time, you have completely ignored the point of the apology. Sayings like
“I am sorry for your sadness” or “I am sorry for my
mistake” are not true apologies, but rather perfunctory.
2. Do not attach any conditions
We often set some conditions
for an apology because of our impulsive sense of self-protection. For example,
“I’m sorry I just said… but if you don’t… then I won’t be so
anxious.” When you add too many conditions to your apology, it may become
meaningless. Even if you really said this sentence sincerely, the additional
conditions in it can easily escalate the conflict again. You think you are
apologizing, but to the other person, it seems that you are not sorry for what
“Explanation” and “Excuses”
Properly explaining why you did
something may help the other person better understand what happened and why you
hurt him. But it should be noted that there is a subtle dividing line between
“interpreting” and “making excuses” for one’s own behavior.
when you say “I’m sorry I just said those things. I was so angry at the
time, I was always immersed in my emotions, so I might say something too heavy,
please forgive me.” is better than “Sorry me.” I just said those
words, but you made me so angry, I can’t help
myself.”It’s much better.
self-blame with empathy.
Apology is not only reflected
in language, but also in body language, tone and so on. This refers to a
face-to-face apology, not a short channel.
If you didn’t
feel self-blame or regret when you apologized, but you just felt that you
“should apologize,” then stop and think, why don’t I blame myself? Am I really
right? How should I apologize?
apologizing, think about how to prevent things from happening again.
I have seen many people around
me who are easy to fall into
such a relationship: hurt each
other, apologize, hurt each other again, apologize again… an endless loop
that cannot be stopped.
As the saying goes, the best
apology is a change in behavior. In many cases, no matter how good the apology
is, it is not as sincere as the action. A better approach than an apology is
that in the process of apologizing, you should express your regret and
corrective actions to the other party. You need to let the other person feel
your efforts towards the future relationship, not just verbally.
Even if you have already
extended your sincere apology to your boyfriend, it is still very likely that
the other person does not want to forgive you. In this case, you need to give
the other party some time to accept the apology. After all, forgiveness is not
an easy task. But the important point
is that if there is a crack in
your relationship, you need to repair it in time, and you can’t just apologize.